| wow. |
[14 Jul 2009|02:07pm] |
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ryan ross should run for office.
wow.
i am the first one i deceive. if i can make myself believe, the rest is easy.
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| ashton? ashton, where are you? |
[12 Jul 2009|03:44am] |
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This is some large scale version of Punk'd, right? I mean, the Legalize Gay tees are okay but everything else? I'm relatively certain they've got the costuming for the new Footloose under control. because this? this is just unnecessary. I lived through the 80's once! I did my time, even though I was young. I had salmon colored units, y'all. SALMON. in case you don't know, I'm a very pasty, chubby, pale redhead. salmon should never have happened to me, my mother should be shot. I've looked all over for a picture of Units clothing. Apparently Sandra Garratt did a similar line called Multiples? either way it was horrible and anyone who let a very round 11 year old walk out of a store into the mall wearing salmon pegged pants, a salmon sleeveless shirt, with a white bandeau belt deserves to be shot, shot I say. hideous.
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| started talking shit, wouldn't ya know? |
[11 Jul 2009|01:29am] |
okay so before I get to what I was going to write about, I was watching season 4 of project runway again and I love Christian. just felt like I should remind you. and he looks so much like Edith used to sometimes that it's scary.
you being the collective you, or the 3 people that still read this
so, the trip to Dallas is going to come out in fits and starts, mostly because I'm lazy. trust me, I'll get to it, because just the concept of my daddy, drunk at a wedding, dancing to Flo Rida's Get Low, is something everyone should share in. those of you who have met my daddy, feel free to picture it. and giggle.
but this one, this one's about Dynamite Hack, my little sister, and my little cousin, Beverly. Beverly came in the same week, so yay to that. she lives in LA now and is trying to be an actress, though what she's really doing, apparently, is playing live versions of Disney princesses for Patricia Heaton's daughter's birthday and dating some super rich trust fund dude. Said dude is actually quite adorable, possibly gay, and nothing like Spencer Pratt, so it's all good. My little sister is now dating a doctor and will probably marry him, so clearly her nursing degree has fulfilled the function she wanted it to. but he's a nice guy, too, just a little quiet and bland for her, which is odd but quite possibly what she needs.
So we all go out to my mother's lake house/personal trailer park for the 4th of july. my older sister came but I honestly may have spoken about 10 words with her. my two nieces were there, which was awesome. my sister's husband, his 3 kids, my mom and step-dad, Jamie, Beverly, Bev's boyfriend, and her daddy, my Uncle Ray, who we all adore because he gets drunk and becomes hysterical. And a shit ton of fireworks. we spent the day grilling burgers, and playing on the boat. we went out on the boat, took innertubes, and went "tubin." even me, and I don't generally swim in water that animals live in. the problem was, we forgot to take the ladder, which we didn't discover until we were all in the water. it took 2 grown men to haul my ass out of the water, and for 4 days I looked like an abuse victim, what with all the bruises. then the kids and my older sister left, and the fun started. or rather, my sister, Bev, Bev's boyfriend, and my uncle started on an $80 bottle of black cherry vodka. which was roughly the size of a small child. and they killed it. in the midst of all of this, they started setting off the fireworks - drunks and fireworks. thank god I was supervising. mom and Dub go to sleep, and I'm still supervising, and see, there's this bar across the lake...and their drunk asses could hear it...so guess where we ended up? I had to wrangle 4 drunks into my sister's brand new lexus, convince them that no, they didn't need to bring their solo cups full of vodka on the drive there, and get us all there. I got them there, drunkenness ensued, I had to convince them not to jump into the lake to pee, keep a very large man named Jesus who bought Bev and Jamie a drink (didn't offer me one. I was right there with them. I blame the breast implants) from stealing my sister, get them through ordering (and singing. loudly.) at the Whataburger drive through, get them home, and their near passing out asses into the house. but the awesome part? that was the drive there. I was driving, they were riding and controlling the radio, and they managed to find Dynamite Hack on some random cd. so there's 3 of the whitest girls on the planet, singing the whitest rap song on the planet, driving around Cedar Creek Lake at midnight on the 4th of July. and singing loudly. I think we frightened a few rednecks. but it's nice to know that folk covers of rap songs could somehow bring the 3 of us perfectly together, even if it was just for 3 minutes.
In honor, I give you Dynamite Hack, Boys n tha Hood. I have no idea what's going on in this video or why these girls did this but if you'll commit to a huge inflatable cow suit, I'm totally in.
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| oddities |
[09 Jul 2009|09:13pm] |
my non-pay-tv assisted tv refuses to get in the channel that Big Brother airs on. our allnewsuperawesomenolongeranalog digital broadcast television, which still inexplicably requires an antenna(e?) sucks alot, therefore, I am going to have to download the torrents. with my cricket wireless superawesomeinsanelyslow internet. so it'll take 2 or 3 days. yay.
also, I have a random post-it on my desk that ominously says buffalo nuggets. nothing else. just that.
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